Paloma Faith has opened up about feeling “heartbroken” and “torn between two kids” in an emotional post-pregnancy diary entry shared to Instagram.
The singer, who welcomed her second daughter, with partner Leyman Lahcine, last month, has been documenting her feelings as she navigates motherhood with two children.
As well as discussing physical realities such as suffering from engorged nipples, Faith has also opened up about her emotional struggles adjusting to parenting two children.
Sharing a sweet snapshot of of her oldest daughter holding the hand of her newborn sister, Faith described the guilt she has been feeling as she tries to spread herself between her four-year-old and her newborn.
“Struggling a bit today,” she began her postpartum diary before giving an update on the struggles she’s been having with breastfeeding.
The Lullaby singer went on to reveal she’s been having “tearful moments where I can’t cope with anything, even small things”.
“Torn between the two kids,” she continues. “The new one is like a new love, I am fascinated and besotted by her and she needs me more than she needs anyone else.
“Then the first one and I miss each other so much we are heartbroken. It probably works in her favour I had a c section because she knows where I will be (usually in bed) and comes to find me and do activity books on the bed together.”
The star finished her emotional post by saying she’s trying to work out how to tell if she’s getting ill or just exhausted and healing from the birth.
“Everyone keeps saying ‘don’t do too much or you won’t get better’ but how much is too much? When people say “you overdid it” it makes you feel like all your pain and suffering is your own fault. God I sound morbid haahahahaha WHO EVEN AM I?” she signed off.
Watch: Paloma Faith opens up about pregnancy body doubles.
Since Faith shared the relatable post, parents have praised the singer for being so honest and opening up about her feelings.
“Everyone needs to read posts like this when they are having a child to realise that these times are real and suffered by most mums,” one Instagram user wrote. “Forget all the fake tanned posed pics. Well done for keeping it real.”
“Every mum reading this knows exactly what you are going through,” another person commented. “I love your honesty, the first few weeks and the complete survival mode your brain goes in to is not spoken about enough.”
Other parents with more than one child reached out to offer their support and reassure the singer she isn’t alone in feeling torn.
“Aww I had my second baby boy six months ago, everyone said the second babies are easier but I found it much, much harder,” one mum wrote.
“I felt the worst mum guilt towards my eldest son who went from being my baby boy at three years to a big boy over night. But it has got easier over time, despite all the obstacles and my boys adore each other now, it’s the most beautiful thing to see.“
“I know exactly how you feel,” another commenter agreed. “The guilt I felt not spending as much time as would normally with my eldest was painful.”
Since announcing she was expecting her second child last year, Faith has been keeping an open and honest diary on social media discussing everything from pregnancy skin tags to what it is like being pregnant in a pandemic.
In one emotional post, Faith, explained how fearful she was about attending her scan at hospital during lockdown.
“Going into the hospital feels like a risk,” she wrote, before sharing the precautions she takes to try to keep herself safe.
“I wear a visor and two masks and open every door with an anti-bac wipe,” she continued. “I must look OCD but I think it’s worth it.”
She also opened up about suffering from the pregnancy complication, placenta previa (low-lying placenta), and discussed the possibility she could be suffering from gestational diabetes as well.