We’re not even a week into 2021 and I’m already utterly speechless, bamboozled and exhausted by the sheer volume of shocking celebrity news that’s come through the grinder.
In the same week we’ve also been plunged into yet another national lockdown, after we’d previously been promised we’d have seen the other side of this pandemic by now, the entertainment world is in full flux and isn’t letting up.
You don’t want to give us two minutes to catch our breath, dear stars? We’re just getting over the whole Hilaria Baldwin controversy.
From the very sad death of Tanya Roberts, to potential divorces and new relationships, a la Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde, from damn Bridgerton and the two influencers both naming their child Baby, it’s just too much.
I know as an entertainment journalist, or, as some prefer, entertainment ‘journalist’, I should be salivating all over my keyboard at this steady stream of pearl-clasping breaking news and gossip. It’s what we live for, right?
But I fear if the first week of the year has set the tone for the rest of 2021, I’ll be cowering under my desk come Valentine’s Day, shielding myself from the constant pelting of time-stopping, table-flipping news, shouting, ‘NO MORE, KRIS JENNER. MAKE IT STOP’.
I don’t even know how normal people are coping right now.
The main one that got us this week isn’t even gossip, but the very tragic death, then not death, then death of Tanya Roberts. I don’t want to make light of this sad news; it’s never joyous to receive the alert a celebrity has died, and then write about it. But, we bring the news. And deaths are news.
It was the circumstances around Roberts’ death, though, which is why I’m here. You see, it was the most peculiar celebrity death I’ve ever been around, let alone one of the most bizarre breaking stories in recent times that’s come across our desk.
Should you be abstaining from the news right now (good for you, thanks for dropping by), the story of the Charlie’s Angels star’s death was first covered on Monday, and it was a fairly run-of-the-mill story as far as sad news pieces go. That was until on late Monday night, as I ate yet another mini-Snickers Celebrations left over from Christmas, I was drawn to a TMZ alert.
Tanya Roberts was still ruddy alive, wasn’t she!
We scrambled to run the new story, correcting the statement her team had previously released to confirm her death.
Then 24 hours later, alerts came through saying that she had now died. Meetings were cancelled as we rushed to confirm the news; the heightened cortisol a very real thing.
Gosh, this must be what ‘actual journalists’ feel, right?
In that time though, another massive celebrity story had broken and we were like the dog from Up!, our attention yanked in another direction: Harry Styles was spotted holding hands with Olivia Wilde.
And it was wild(e).
We love a celebrity shack-up at the best of times, but no other star really grabs our attention quite like Harry and I’d be lying through my dirty journalist teeth if I said Harry’s dating life wasn’t up there in Things That Excite Us The Most.
Our saliva glands are now working on overdrive and it’s only the fourth of flippin’ January.
Then, because someone in the entertainment world apparently did an Oliver Twist ‘please Sir, may we have more’, speculation began mounting overnight that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were set to divorce and we, quite literally, just want to crawl into the corner and wait for 2022.
The end of Kimye? Well, Kris Jenner was hardly about to have Harry Styles steal this moment with his hand-holding, was she? This will keep us going for weeks, months even. You may deem this sort of news frivolous and a waste of time, but any Kimye news is a fricken’ powderkeg in the celebrity world.
And in there, Dr Dre had also been admitted to hospital after reportedly suffering a brain aneurysm. (Don’t worry, as quickly as the news emerged, he insisted he was recovering well), Bridgerton’s Rege-Jean Page made us feel…things, and Zoe Kravitz also split from her husband.
Now, it might sound like I’m having a good ol’ whinge about the very lifeblood of my industry but, really, in actual fact, no lie, in reality, who am I kidding?
In a time when we’re dealing with some of the most depressing news out there, this is where us ‘entertainment journalists’ come in, on our golden chariots, and bring some light to the darkness.
Well, deaths, they can do one. No more of those, please. But the more A-listers who hold hands this year, the better.
We deserve it.